how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
