she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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