just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
