Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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