I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
