Well apparently he's into motor boating.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
