so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
