idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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