Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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