i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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