when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
its not stalking. its research.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
