Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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