We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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