I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
