She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
