i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
