I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
