i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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