I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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