I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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