if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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