She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
