butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize