holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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