i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
