I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
