we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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