I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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