I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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