The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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