btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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