My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize