But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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