I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
