he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
home. puking in laundry basket.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
