He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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