OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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