my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
