Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
