I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
