shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
