We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
