Your mouth is God's brothel.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
