thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
