when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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