p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
