we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
