I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
