dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
