this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
