I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
