She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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