Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
