How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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