yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
