He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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