I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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