I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
