I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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