the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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