I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
