Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sext me about skeletons
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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